dropping by

Well, I have nothing much to say. Thought I would stop by and see whats happening. I should have guessed nothing was happening here at my blog.

I am not sure what the deal is but I try to add save pictures and they all come out as bitmap format. It pisses me off because then I can't add pictures to liven up my stories. I was able to figure out how to swap a pic to jpeg and have wanted to put this up for a while.



This was taken when I came back from the war in '03. This is me and The Boy. It was big bad and nation wide I guess. I had recieved a dozen phone calls from people telling me how great this picture is. It kind of freaked me out knowing that people could get information like that. Then I was sent another dozen or so letter with the picture clipped out and sent to me with heartfelt letters. Wild stuff.


I guess it was up for some awards at the end of that year as well. We were able to get some 8 X 10's sent to us and we sent some of them out to family. Which is a cool thing.

Just something that I had wanted to show for a while now and finally was able to figure out how to change the format.

Oh yeah, my family has been calling to see how the polygraph went and I love tossing the phrase, "I'm a sexual deviant!", out there. My aunt just about choked on her tongue when she heard that. I am what I am I guess. Oh and don't foget a thief of item over $50. I am so pissed!

wild week

Well, all of my fun started last Monday. I was super excited (at the time) about gettibg called in for a polygraph test. I had called my wife and some family members in Minnesota. I had left my cell phone in the computer room as I was making lunch for me and The Boy. I had called the corrections people to ask them a few questions and was expecting a call so I went and got the phone.

I saw I had missed a call from my brothers ex-wife. I had just talked to her the week before to see how my brother was doing. So I called her back and she dropped the bomb on me. My brother was dead! I wasn't sure how to feel. I was never really close to him. We are complete opposites. He was always in trouble with the law for thieving and drugs. I was basically an angel.

So, I called my wife and told her. I sat for a bit and wondered what the fuck? My mom had died 14 years earlier. 2/3 of my family was now gone. I was it! I called the rest of my family and told them. They were naturally bummed.

I had called the medical examiner to see if I could get some answers. It was too early in the process to hear anything. They would call me back later. My brothers ex-wife was pissed because she couldn't get any answers...I was now the next of kin.

I had tracked down my deadbeat dad a few months back and chatted him up a bit and wasn't to impressed. I thought he should know his first born had passed away. He told me that he would head out the next day.

My grandpa had offered to buy me an airplane ticket and I could fly out there. I thought it was a good idea and I could head out there right away. Turns out that trying to get a last minute plane ticket the week of Thanksgiving is just stupid. We were going to postpone the service until this week. I called people that would be travelling and told them it would be in about a week. I called my dad and he said that he couldn't make it. So I decided to make it last Friday. My dad had said that he would drive up and pick me and my family up and drive me to Minnesota. Insane!

The medical examiner called later that night and filled me in on my brother. Seems that he had been dead for about a week. They suggested we cremate and that was already planned so that worked well.

I hadn't seen my dad since my mothers funeral and barely at all before that. I wet into the trip open minded and thought it to be a good time to "bond". He showed up at my house at about 1:30 a.m. and I offered him and hos wife to stay in our extra bedroom. They had just driven from southern Alabama. We woke up early and started to get everything packed and loaded.

We probably should have left right when he arrived but didn;t work that way. It took us about 26 hours to get to Minnesota. Usually it takes about 20. We had run into some weather in Ohio and the added traffic of Thanksgiving didn't help.

My dad drove the whole 26 hours. What the fuck? I think he was trying to prove that he was this macho alpha male. I offered to drive and was shot down. I later found out that he wasn;t sure of my driving abilities in the snow. Whatever! I lived in MN for 20 years and it does snow in Maryland. We arrived in WI where I was staying at about 11:30 a.m. Thanksgiving morning. I relaxed a bit and then went to my aunts for turkey and treats.

It was good times since I love my little cousins big time. We stayed for a few hours and I was beat so we came home and had some more turkey and treats at the house we were staying at. We stayed with the lady that raised me after my mom died. Her and her family are wonderful. We went to bed early and slept great.

I woke up early so I could get my funeral clothes on and get ready. I had bought a nice silk cloth to drape over my brothers ashes and went to go drop off The Boy at my aunts. We arrived at the cremation place and I saw my brothers ex-wife there. She was devasted. She has 2 girls from some other guy but the only dad they knew was my brother. From what I hear he was great to them and they loved him more than anything.

In my planning of the funeral I had never really thought of clergy for the service. I am by all accounts an athiest. Anyway, the lady that I lived with had talked with a friend of my moms at work and told her that my brother had died. Turns out this lady was was an ordained pastor or whatever you call it. She came and we talked about what we would like said and done.

There was a part in the service that we could walk up there and say something. Nobody was going up so I went for it. I had no good memories of my brother and I think it was apparent in my little speech. I just think that he is in a better place.

I meeted and greeted many people that I knew and didn't know. It was nice to see people again. My whole family showed up and that was really nice. I haven't seen all of them in years. After my mom died my family fell to ruins. We went out to eat and talked and then I went to my aunts to say bye to her kids and say thanks to her.

Then we went to where we were staying and said our thanks to her and her family. She had bought our son some X-mas/B-day presents. She is so nice.

We left at about 3 a.m. and headed back east. I again didn't drive and this time my dad dropped us off and drove straight to Alabama. When I said good bye and thanks he couldn't even look me in the eyes. Pussy!

Then I hung out and did nothing and went to the shitty polygraph on Monday! What a fucking week.

what a life

I am not a happy camper of late! I am pretty sure that I lost my job with the corrections department. I am not even sure what the fuck anymore. I was a normal guy 6-7 months ago and now I am a pile of shit. The getting is tough and I am sure that I will come out on top eventually but when?

I tried to call the guy that gave me a polygraph and go over some stuff with him. Maybe that can clear up some things. I'm really not sure at this time. I have been hearing back from them after about a week. So, I am guessing that sometime next week I will be getting a phone call or letter telling me that I have been taken out of the running for the job. That sucks ass! That would have been my meal ticket out of white trashville.

I am a good guy that has fallen on some hard times. Nobody wants to see it that way. What a crock of shit. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but I am a bit pissed off and feeling very much like a failure. All because of some polygraph machine. I was thinking that if I was lying it was from something from my youth.....10+ years ago. I am a pretty straight laced guy now. Fucking nuts. Polygraphs aren't even submitted into court are they? I will keep you posted!

Polygraph this bitch

Well, I took my polygraph this morning and it sucked ass. I am almost certain that I won't get the job now. The guy kept asking me about theft and sexual devience. What is that all about? I have never stolen anything in my life...maybe a few gumballs here and there as a kid. I am pretty sure that I am not a sexual predator. I even told this this guy that I have not stolen anything or have weird carnal desires. Since I have no explanation for them it go down as DECEPTION. What the fuck?

I don't think that I have any weird sexual desires. If anything I am very vanilla in bed...luck wife. I am not sure as to what the hell that was all about. So I had three strikes against me. Theft, sexual devience and deception. What the hell? I now know that polygraphs are a crock of shit! I will have an official notice sent to me next week I am sure! I am planning on the worst. That pisses me off so bad.

They gave me a piece of paper to sign when I got there basically telling me that I have the have the job. All I had to do was pass the polygraph and a few other easy tasks. I am so pissed! Who knows maybe next week I will be writing to tell you that I am moving on to the next phase. The impression I got from the guy giving me the polygraph was that I was a douche.

What a weekend!

Well, I had a wild weekend. I will have to get into it as soon as I have some more time to BS about it. It was sad and wonderful at the same time if that can be said? I will write tomorrow probably.

Oh yeah, at the butt crack of dawn tomorrow I have a polygraph test for the corrections officer job. I ranked number out of 30 some people. As long as I pass this polygraph test and drig test I should have a job soon. That is a good thing! The pay is good and I will be working again so that is a bonus. I will get into that all tomorrow. Oh yeah, I am no connected to the wonderful internet again so that is a good thing. I might be going to my mother-in-laws house this week as well. Maybe Tuesday or Wednesday. I was unable to make up it up there and she made a ton of food for us to bring home so I need to get up there and get that and see her. I am debating if I want to go after my interview tomorrow or not! Again, I will keep you posted and fill you in on a crazy week.

just the way it is

I am all of a sudden a Civil War buff. I read a book from a local author and it has made me want to know more about the war. I went to a used book store and bought 6 books on the subject. I should be an official Civil war geek in a few weeks when I have read some of them.

I figured that a lot of this shit happened in the area that I live in now and I should kind of know a bit about it. I am below the Mason-Dixon line so I am in the SOUTH. Sure doesn't seem like it! Oh well!

It's raining today and today and still doesn't feel too much like fall. It was cold over the last few days but has warmed up and all is well. I still haven't turned my furnace on. Weird for a guy from northern Minnesota.

I am sorry that I haven't been checking anybody's blog out but I have limited time and resources as of now. I will be getting internet up and running next week. I am just surprised that I am not able to get it on faster. I was told that I have to wait 10 business days. Plus, Thanksgiving fucks everything up.

That is all I have to report on as of now but will be back in a fury next week when I am part of the dot-com persuasion again.

when it rains it pours

Today feels like fall. Its about 50 degrees. I was kind of enjoying the 70 degree weather though. It's all good.

Well, I had my interview for the Correction Officer job yesterday and it went well...I think. I am a bit pissed because because after the interview I had thought of a dozen things I should have said during the interview. It happens. I was looking pretty damn good if I may say. I had on my suit and tie, a fresh haircut and good attitude. I arrived early and they were pleased about that. I was the first of the interviewees. Not sure that is a good thing! I saw the guy that was interviewing after me and he looked like he just came from bed.

I am also in a position to get a post office job and was called today to interview for a local propane company. So, I will be having some choices to be making here. This just stinks. I will keep you filled in on all that stuff. The corrections people said they would call the week after Thanksgiving. The next step is a polygraph and drug test!

Peace out!

What to do

Fuck! I am getting nervous here. I may have to decide between two decent jobs in the near future. I am sure I will screw up the interview on Wednesday. I am a douche sometimes.

I have my stuff at the dry cleaners as we speak. I will be looking sharp at 9 a.m. on Wed. I have to finish all of this fucking paperwork they have for me to fill out. They want some insane shit! My neighbors names and adresses for the last 10 YEARS. What the fuck? Who ever talks to their neighbors anymore? I reluctantly asked my bible thumping neighbor from my last apartment for his info to put down. He is a pain in the ass. It's all good! I also have to find some people to answer qiestions of my character. I am of great character and moral standards. I just choose not to live by them all the time. So I am going to be putting in the names of my old boozing buddies. Maybe sprinkle a few people of importance in there.

Oh well, I am going to get hot on this application and figure out where I can get some shit notorized. Such a pain in my ass!

Kind of funny

Well, all good things must come to an end. My "secret" identity is no longer. My name is Josh! LOL! I know that I have put my sons name and have felt bad about it. But it happens.

On to new and exciting news. I am getting a haircut today so I can look sharp next Wednesday for my interview! I am torn between corrections officer and possibly a mail man. Yes, I will be a Cliff Claven. There is a local post office that wants to hire me so bad. I would be the only man in the place. How cool is that? I went there and dropped off my lengthy application and saw nothing but old bitties. So I am not going to be swimming in pretty young things. If I get hired for that job I think I would take that over the CO job. Less bullshit.

All I can think of is me making my rounds and catching some guy wacking off. Next thing you know I have a face full of man chowder like in 'Silence of The Lambs'. Thats bullshit.

As a mail man I can drive in a cool jeep and deliver mail. At my own pace. It's pretty rural here so it would be easy. I would grow my beard and hair from the months of November to April. The Grizzley Adams of the USPS.

Well, I have some errands to do before I get my haircut. Peace out and see you all soon. Oh yeah, I will write about homos tomorrow.

nice

I was reading my new pal Dee's blog and she mentions something about writing contests and whatnot. I need to find a way to get in on these things. I could use $3,000 to buy myself a new laptop as well. That way I could be all wi-fi and stuff.

I have written another story and I think it will be the one that I bring into the group next week. It's funny, cute and clever. I have some editing to do now of course but should be good stuff. I write a huge "premise" and then go in and add and delete things later. It works for me. Well, I am off to go buy some eggs and do what ever it is my Michael Keaton ass does.

follow up to a few things

Well, if anybody reads this wih any kind of regularity you will know that I am a displaced worker. I am a husband and father to a kick ass son. I have made it my mission to screw with the people that thought it was ok to fuck with Team Cackmandu!

So, if you have been following with any regularity you know that I will be having an interview with the Sheriffs office in about two weeks for the corrections officer job. I am still madly in love with my wife and son.

I recieved a call from that douche bag Duke this weekend. A full 2 days earlier than he promised. Kudos asshole, you have finally kept your word on something! I am quite sure that we made him and his crappy wife rather uncomfortbale with the facts that we kept throwing in their faces ever chance we had. He claims that he will send half or a third of the money that was owed us. We have them scared and that is a good feeling. It's nice to see these scoundrels getting uncomfortable!

Oh yeah, I also have noticed a few comments from my fellow writing groupees. I will get into that in another post and time. Enjoy and I will be back with a story soone enough I am sure.

Not sure

I recieved a letter from the sheriff's office last Friday and was told that I past the physical and written test. I had already known I passed the physical test because if I didn't I wouldn't be able to take the written test. The written test was cake. I circus monkey could have passed it. Not sure of that is putting me in great company or not?

I was trying on my "interview" clothes last night and look pretty damn sharp if you ask me. I need a little work on my tie knot skills but should be ok. I was thinking that I would wear nice pants and shirt/tie. Not professional enough so I am going with the jacket as well.

Umm, other than that there isn't a whole lot going on in my life. We mustered up some money and were able to get the boy some clothes the other day. He still needs a few odds and ends but for the most part is outfitted for fall and winter.

The falls here are goofy! Yesterday I went to take the boy out and play. We wore t-shirts and had a blast in the 70+ degrees. Sure the leaves are changing but there isn't that cold crisp fall air to go along with it. Hell, I haven't even turned my furnace on yet. We have had one frosting so far this season. I can't complain as I am sure it will be the worst winter I have spent in wonderful Maryland.

I am also in the process of getting my internet back up at home so I can get the pictures up to make this thing hum a bit better!

Frenzy

Ever since I was at the writers meeting the other night I have knocked out two short stories already. They are both pretty lame right now but I just wrote and will add/delete later. They are both pretty dark. I will try to make something a bit more upbeat and funnier when I can think of it. I have a month to decide what piece I want to bring to the next meeting.

I am also going to check out a book club next week! I must sound so gay now. I am writing and going to book clubs at trendy coffee shops. They will have no idea what hit them when I bring the book that I am reading now. I am not sure as to what passage I should read from it. There hasn't been anything that really jumped out at me and says, "share me". It is just an overall good book. I will keep you updated on my adventures into gayville!

Writer in me

Well, last night attended my first "writers group". It was actually pretty fun. I learned some new things and met some great people. I whored out my blog to them so if I have any regular readers here you may see some new names come by and post comments.

I was inspired to write something half way thru the meeting/discussions last night. It will be good stuff. I am not sure if I am too happy that I gave the info out to my blog. It's one thing to blog with whoever reads this thing. Your faceless and the odds of us ever meeting are very slim...hell you don't even know my name! Kind of wierd having my new "friends" possibly stopping by to read this and no doubt give me feedback via comments and our next meeting.

I was pleased to hear the word cock last night. I wasn't quite sure how the group worked and what the wrote about. Now I have a feeling of what is out there and can go from there. I can be gross and vulgar sometimes with the language that I use. I am going to start my "story" tonight. Maybe I will post it hear as well so some of the "regulars" can read what I have in my head....