Who knows?
Well, I am almost certain that my relationship with my wife is over. I try and I try. Seems that she has fallen OUT of love with me. She said, "parts o fme want you to stay and parts of me want you to go". Umm yeah! Now I have the task of having her fall in love with me all over again. I am guessing as soon as we get back in the black she will leave my lumpy ass. Like Dee said, it just doesn't seem lik eit to divorce and start all over. Who knows? Sometimes I wanna go away too, but so badly love my wife and want it to work out. As soon as my healthcare kicks in I/we will be going to see a counselor. Then we will try to go forward. If that doesn't work, I will tuck my tail between my legs and go back to Minnesota. It's all good. Just a rough fucking year for Team Cackmandu. It has added an insane amount of pressure on this relationship.
As some of you may know I was out of work for 9 ass wrenching months last year. I honestly could not find anything. Sure I could have worked at McDonalds or something, but it wouldn't have given us health care or be able to pay bills. I now have a better paying job and get the chance to work a shitload of overtime. Oh my point is that my wife is holding me being jobless for 9 months against me. Yeah she has a point but why the fuck live in the past? Can't she be excited that I have a job that pays well and will get us on the road to financial freedom? We really aren't in debt all that much either which is a great thing. Who knows?
posted by cackmandu at 9:36 AM
2 Comments:
I may piss off some women out there so I'm bracing myself...but - here goes.
I don't know if women (I didn't) understand the pressure men feel, when they marry, to provide. To be the breadwinner and to give their families what they want and need. I think a similar pressure for women would be raising the kids. Even if the husband helps, I think women still feel the burden (society puts upon both sexes)to be the responsible ones for raising the kids.
I don't think it's right either way. But my husband explained to me, in one of our "battles" that he tries to do the best he can and anytime I say I want something (new shoes, a vacation, new matress - whatever) he feels the pressure to provide it for me. NOt that I put that on him - but it is somewhat self-imposed.
I, on the other hand, feel horrible for not contributing financially. I want to have money of my own or money to pay the groceries - but as my husband points out - by staying home with the kids, I save in daycare costs. And by homeschooling our kids I am saving on private school costs.
It's so hard and yet so vital to try and believe each person is doing the best that they can. And also to just forgive one another and that can be the most difficult thing.
I really feel for you two. I hope you are able to do what is best for the both of you. (and your son)I don't know what that may be - but I hope whatever is decided works out for the best.
As for your wife - I don't know her and so I have no idea what she has done to try and help or hinder the situation, but being a single mother is incredibly difficult. And being a single father is incredibly difficult. Just my opinion - but, having a partner to raise a child beats doing it alone.
I wish you the best - you know if there is anything I can do, we can do, the door is open. I'm NOT bullshitting. I'm serious.
Take it easy -
Dee
August 07, 2006 2:33 PM
Thanks Dee!!! No bullshit!!
August 08, 2006 3:09 PM
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