Polygraph this bitch

Well, I took my polygraph this morning and it sucked ass. I am almost certain that I won't get the job now. The guy kept asking me about theft and sexual devience. What is that all about? I have never stolen anything in my life...maybe a few gumballs here and there as a kid. I am pretty sure that I am not a sexual predator. I even told this this guy that I have not stolen anything or have weird carnal desires. Since I have no explanation for them it go down as DECEPTION. What the fuck?

I don't think that I have any weird sexual desires. If anything I am very vanilla in bed...luck wife. I am not sure as to what the hell that was all about. So I had three strikes against me. Theft, sexual devience and deception. What the hell? I now know that polygraphs are a crock of shit! I will have an official notice sent to me next week I am sure! I am planning on the worst. That pisses me off so bad.

They gave me a piece of paper to sign when I got there basically telling me that I have the have the job. All I had to do was pass the polygraph and a few other easy tasks. I am so pissed! Who knows maybe next week I will be writing to tell you that I am moving on to the next phase. The impression I got from the guy giving me the polygraph was that I was a douche.