Chapter 1: The Cannonball Run of 2005

Well, here I am getting off my ass and writing about my wonderful trip to Minnesota. I will take your advice Smoov and just be about and not talk about it. So here is the first chapter of a boring story.

I had wanted to leave early in the morning but my wonderful wife forgot to take that day off so we were going to leave when she came home. I had expected she would be home for about 2 hours and then we would be in our family truckster and on our merry way. I am such a fucking idiot for thinking this. We never leave on time. She was busy cleaning up and doing this and that for her friend that would be staying here watching our pets.

After much needed prodding we were on the road at a little after midnight. My son, was asleep within minutes of pulling out and my wife stuck with me for a while but I had tried to get to her to sleep since I wasn't sure when she might be taking the wheel and giving me a chance to rest. We had both been up early that morning.

I live in the sticks and it take us about an hour to get to the DC area. Once there we were starting to make money and progress on Cannonball Run 2005. We are cruising along fine and my wife decides she's hot and needs the AC on. I like to be comfy when I drive not freezing my ass off. So we argued about that for a few miles and then we agreed on a comfortable enough temprature.

As I went west more we had started climbing some of the hills. I guess with hills and summer there is insane fog. It came from nowhere. I was lucky to see the hood of my car. Then just as quickly as it came it was gone. I repeated this wonder phenomona all the way into Ohio. But before Ohio we traveled the shittiest road in America...The Pennsylvania Turnpike. I hate this road with a passion. Not sure why, but I do. It's like driving in a cattle chute. There is a concrete barrier on the left lane and usually an 18-wheeler in the right. Not fun when when your doing 75 and can't see shit.

We made it well into Ohio by sun up. I saw my first state trooper on the border of PA/OH. I had chatted with a trucker a few years back on a similiar trip and he suggested I do the speed limit in Ohio. I think the state has a hard on for truckers personally. It was about 7:30 a.m. that we pulled over for some gas and a bite to eat. I had asked my wife if she had wanted to drive for a bit and let me sleep and rest and I could do the last bit of driving through Chicago and Wisconsin.

Of course she was all for it and took the keys and drove away. I managed to get a few hours of sleep due to the sun and my son jabbing me in the head to see if I was still alive. I had woken up to see that the amount of cars on the road had quadrupled while I was asleep. No big deal since we are on a major interstate traffic was going well. Until, the great state of Ohio had decided to do some work on I-80 in the middle of the day. Traffic had come to a standstill. Just great! We were making some good time.

We eventually made it through that mess and had zero problems. Time was flying and we were putting some serious miles behind us. Then wonderful Chesterton, Indiana came upon us like a beacon in the night. Chesterton is small town that has a White Castle attached to a gas station. We know of this place because 3 years earlier we had stopped to get some gas and I chose White Castle and my wife chose Long John Silvers. Since 'Harold and Kumar' came out she is all about White Castle. This coming from the lady that freaks when I see the frozen ones in the grocery store. Needless to say we stopped and had a nice lunch. I had noticed that there was a 1-800 number on the bag of bugers we bought so I called them and told them how great they were and how much we loved this Chesterton, Indiana White Castle. I had asked if I would get anything free for kissing their asses. The teenage girl on the other end of the line was asking someone and they said NO. I had to try!

We headed back out on the road and went through Chicago with ease and crept into Wisconsin. As we were entering Wisconsin it became black and gross out. Before long we were in India type rains and were at a crawl. The rain lasted for about 10 minutes and then we were back on our way. Wisconsin sucks to drive through. It's flat and you see nothing but fields.

I hadn't been able to fall asleep since I had woken up some 8 hours earlier. My wife's driving freaks me out sometimes. It seems that she accelerates towards brake lights. So she was driving and driving for hours. We finally hot northern Wisconsin and there is a hill that you come up and you can see Lake Superior and Minnesota. It's a beautiful site when you have been on the road for 20 hours.

We clipped into Minnesota and arrived at my freinds house at almost exactly 21 hours after we had left. We get out of the car and stretched our legs to get the blood going we were getting spooked because I had mentioned an article I had read some time back about long road trips and blood clots forming.

My friend was outside with his wife and enjoying a nice evening overlooking the lake that they live on. We exchanged hellos and discussed the good/bad of the trip. Within 10 minutes of arriving I had a vodka concoction in my hand and enjoying life in Minnesota again. We had gone out on his boat and taken my wife for a tour of the lake. We finished our vodka concoctions and started on the beer. I am not a big drinker anymore and I was suprised at how much I was putting away for just coming off of a cannonball run. I was getting the feeling that alcohol was going to be playing a huge part of my trip to the Northland.