disgusting

Not sure what my fan base is. I am sure that I have a commited readership of 5-6 people. I am fine with that. That is my niche in blogging I guess. I have been looking at my previous posts and have noticed a trend in when I get comments. It's usually after a disgusting post. I wonder why that is?

Well not to let anybody down, I have kind of a disgusting story to share. Last night, me and my wife took our dogs out for the last walk of the evening. We were both tired as hell and just wanted to get in. My one dog, Princess (we didn't name here), was shitting. We looked around at the bats catching bugs and were ready to go in. We noticed that Princess was still pooping. I took a look and noticed that she had a piece of poo still hanging out of her ass. I picked up a dry brittle leaf and told my wife to extract this piece of poo. She obliged and had no success. I picked a green leaf from a tree and she used that to pull the poop from her butthole. I am watching the procedure from a safe distance and see my wifes arm extend about a foot and a half from her bung hole. It seems that this one piece of crap was attached by string or hair. It glistened in the night from nearby street lamps. It was shiny and was seriously about 18" long. Me having the iron gut that I have, start to salivate and dry heave. My eyes become blurred by tears froming. My stomach is wrenching and trying to push the contents of my dinner out. I repeat this about 3 times and have drool dripping from my mouth. I turn to my wife all teary eyed and see her laughing her ass of at me.

I wonder what the hell my problem is? My wife asked me how I was able to change our son's diaper. I could do it easily in the beginning because baby poop doesn't stink. It's just goopy! Then as he was older there were a few times that I was gagging my ass off. Just a reminder, I can't smell all that well so like a blind person, my other senses are heightened. For example, taste! Do you know what it's like to taste baby poo or submerge yourself in a dog crate after explosive diarrhea? I know this all to well and seems that it created great fodder for my readers. Enjoy my misery!

P.S. I had told my wife that I had blogged about the whole dog poo incident and she had asked if I wrote about what was in the poo. I guess I had no idea that I needed to state such a thing. She went on to tell me that I should have named the post, "Dog poo and Tampons". I asked her why tampons? There is nothing about tampons in the whole story. She clued me in on the fact that what she had pulled from our dogs ass was indeed a tampon.

If we don't crate Princess up when we leave she likes to dig in the trash. It seems that Princess is part shark and went berserk over the trash in my wifes bathroom. Well the other day I had come home and saw that my wife feminine products were scattered all about her bathroom floor. I guess she must have eaten one and it had taken a few days for her to pass the clump of bloody cotton. Needless to say, she is crated from here on out.