total crap

I know I promised that I would be in a better mood in my next post, but I am pissed. I have been browsing some blogs and seeing some cool stuff out there. I go to leave a fricken comment and nothing. Blogger is obviously having problems and that just sucks. I am mad!! I was trying to get the good word of Kow's Corner out there to what seemed to be pretty neat blogs. S.O.B!

I might as well get this little gem of a story out there while I am pissed and am not happy with bloggville today. Just be warned it is another poo story. I am a huge fan of crap. I guess you could call me a shit talker.

Today, while I was writing my whinafesto I had the feeling of going poo. I held off for two reasons. A)I stayed in order to get some lame thoughts down. B) The optometry bathroom is in the waiting room.

Well, I could no longer hold out. It was crowning. I slowly walked into the bathroom and as I did I saw a patient sitting down. I thought she had left. She is in her mid-20's and fairly attractive. Great!! I have a phobia of using this bathroom for reasons just like that. It can be a man out there and I would still freak out! So, I quick undo pants and as my boxers clear my ass it's bombs away. It was horrible! I am not sure how loud it was but there were a few small explosions. It stunk big time. I had to give MYSELF a courtesy flush. I am not even close to being done. I know this woman is still out there. She heard the flush. She probably thinks I am done. No way Jose! I dropped a few more pounds and was finally done. There was another flush before I was officially done.

I sinch up and wash my hands. Look in the mirror and I look visibly shaken. It was a rough one. I walk out as if I had just walked out of my office. I look at the young woman and male eye contact. What the fuck was I thinking? Never ever make eye contact. I get a blank look as I flash a smile of relief. I hate where this bathroom is.

Lastly, I have a huge fear of someone walking in on me while pooing. I think mentally I could poop in front of my grandmother and be ok with it. It's those few seconds that I have my hand in my ass that freaks me out! The shame, the humilation.

I promise now no more poo stories for a while. I will have some good positive non-fecal subject matter soon enough. Wondering why people don't leave comments! How much could a sane person say in a comment about the escapades of some guy's poo history and phobias. I now see why nobody is writing...what a moment of clarity. Well, to my one and only active commenter I am sorry and do thank you for commenting on one poo story. To my phantom readers you get what you pay for and will until you show your faces!!

I do promise to be better...