I would rather breathe water

Today when I came home from work my wife was taking a bath. I had a few matters to discuss with her and yet I had the need to poo. I figured I could accomplish both at the same time. Getting good at this multi-tasking stuff. I unbuckle the old pants and drop trou. Before I could get 3 words our of my mouth my wife was freaking out on me. The nerve of me taking a shit while she took a bath. I tried to conversate with her but it didn't go to well. She started cracking jokes and I started to weez and snort....it has to be funny for me to do that. At one point she told me, "I would rather breathe this water than that!". That put me into convulsions and I had to get out of there.

That bathroom fan does nothing for a stinky poo. My wife is always telling me to put mine on. It does nothing! I have no idea why she gave me the bathroom in our bedroom. It's gonna happen...shit stinks. Maybe when we finally get a house I will get the dingy bathroom in the basement.

All of this shit talking has made me think of when I was in high school and we would sit around a fire and have beer that a stranger bought for us at an unbelievable price. We would always think up some insane scenario and ask what we would do in that situation. I remember I had asked one that was taken from real life. Mind you this is from the mind of a 16-17 year old boy.

You are at your girlfriends house and you have to go to the bathroom. Not just a pee but a full fledged number two. You coil major rope and stink the place to high heaven. (Think diarrhea scene in Dumb and Dumber) You get done with your business and are even disgusted and the fecal smell. You see that there is a can of good smelling spray and over by the sink or on top of the toilet is a nice basket of potpourri.

What do you do?

Do you spray or let the potpourri do it's job?

Oh yeah, and right after you leave you see the mom go in not even 5 minutes later. Wonderering what decision I made? I trusted that the potpourri would work. If you spary the can of whatever it is usually pretty strong. Therefore, the next person who comes in knows that you dropped a bomb. I played the odds and I guess I chose wrong. I never made eye contact with the mom for the rest of the night.